this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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