I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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