wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
