So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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