I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize