New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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