As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
