She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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