I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
