Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
