I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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