Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
