I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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