Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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