Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
