1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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