He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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