We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
do nipples grow back?
Randomize