just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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