He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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