we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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