Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize