i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
