Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
