You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
