in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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