There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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