Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
