when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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