why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
