There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
