I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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