Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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