Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
