are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize