don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
