i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
