If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
