Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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