how can u be prego again
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
