ugly people sure do ruin things
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
we're so committed to being not committed
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