i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
