One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
