Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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