She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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