I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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