hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
