Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
should my penis look like a turkey
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Two words: blizzard sex
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
