but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
