Yo dont text me then not text me
thus making me awesome and them whores
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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