he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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