So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My first STD was from a foam party
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
