im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
