am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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