i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
