im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
