I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
