he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
