i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
