great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
