YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
