but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
