I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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