i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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