Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
