Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
