this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
