Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
