I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
