Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
