You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
